Which way, which way, which way to the $ buffet,

Which way, which way, which way to the $ buffet.

Endless shrimp cocktail, famous prime rib. Breakout my crab and lobster bib,

Breakout my crab and lobster bib.

Piles of potatoes, soggy zucchini Lots of those little party frank weenies,

Lots of those little party frank weenies.

Which way, which way, which way to the $ buffet,

Which way, which way, which way to the $ buffet.

Formica counters and stainless steel stretching for miles

Plastic name badges, starched linens and perfectly placed smiles

Acres of vinyl booths, aching fat fanny packs can fit in ….

Which way, which way, which way to the $ buffet,

Which way, which way, which way to the $ buffet.

Jello with peaches, jello with pears, Hardworking servers with nets in their hair,

Hardworking servers with nets in their hair.

Six different gravies, mystery meat. And for a buck, all you can eat.

And for a buck, all you can eat.

Which way, this way, this way to the $ buffet,

Which way, this way, this way to the $ buffet.

Past all the slots with the white-gloved old ladies arms waving

Rich punks play baccarat while sick drunks drink blackjack stark raving

To the bowels of the basement where natural sunlight has never been

Planet Vegas – we’ve arrived at the $ buffet.

Planet Vegas – fine dining at the $ buffet.